During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
