I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
