Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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