saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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