where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
