that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
