You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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