More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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