I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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