I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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