In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
