we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
