Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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