I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
