No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
