how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just blew my weed a kiss
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
