Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
