wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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