I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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