It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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