If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
