I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
