Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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