there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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