i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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