you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
