Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
