Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
