She announced her abortion via fbk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
