I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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