So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
