Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
