Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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