the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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