coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The power of my boobs compel you
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
