just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
