no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Come see our sink grown plant.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
A+ Viking dick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize