It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
