lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
