just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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