And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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