there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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