I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
