So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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