She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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