We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize