Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
