It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize