She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
