Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
this boner is exhausting
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
