i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
