I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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