Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
