did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
