Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
