Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
