Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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