she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize