This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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