I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I believe in your delicious
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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