We won't sleep together?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
