ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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