I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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