you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
