ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
