Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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