There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
