I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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