I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
