At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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